‘Relax, relax, it’s alright to sound old when you’re over thirty-five. It happens!’ ‘Over thirty-five? I’m twenty-eight!’ A laugh that would have seemed perfectly normal from someone half her apparent age informed me that I had just walked straight into a fairly simple joke at my own expense. ‘Sensitive, are we?’ I couldn’t help but laugh a little myself, something that I realized I hadn’t done in a while. ‘Ha. Didn’t anyone ever tell you to respect your elders?’ Much to my surprise, I was trading bits of humor with an effervescent twenty-something medical student. The notion crossed my mind that she was essentially the opposite of the looming shadow in my life. I quickly chased the idea out of my thoughts, I was enjoying myself too much to want to think of such a discouraging thing, true or not. ‘Does that mean you really are old?’ ‘Aren’t people supposed to talk less when they’re tired, not more?’ ‘Yawn. No fun, I might as well just go to sleep then, and I can do that when I get. Perhaps it's best summed up in the old adage: It's the closest thing to pussy. My freshman year at college was exactly what it should have been exciting, liberating, experimental, and educational. I'd had a few semi-serious relationships, punctuated by the occasional, fortunate spontaneous encounter, and that, in summary, rounded out my sexual experience to that point in life. With brown hair and green eyes, I'd been working on transforming my popsicle-stick appendages into lean, muscular arms and legs by working out, and playing a lot of ice-hockey. At 5'11" and 185 pounds, I was anxious to get back to school in the fall to expand my, uh, knowledge. But my return home had also provided me with a fresh observation of life around the house. Most notably, I became acutely aware that my sister Penny no longer wore the cotton underwear that wasn't entirely dissimilar to mine. In fact, my sometimes-ally, sometimes-nemesis, had begun wearing a fascinating array of pretty undergarments,.
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